The Day I Almost Got Axe Murdered

I buckled Pepper into our super rad, in-no-way-lame, minivan to go to the end of our street to get the mail. As I backed down our sloped driveway, I noticed an older, white-bearded man across the street leaning out the door of a little white Toyota pickup (like the Pizza Planet one on Toy Story). He was looking right at me. He stared after us as we slowly made our way to the end of the cul-de-sac. My mind began to drift to places most "normal" minds never need wander.

You see, for weeks I had been watching enormous amounts of crime documentary TV while I cooked dinner each night, so this is par for course. Instantly he became the scary, bearded, snow-shovel man from Home Alone and I was little Macaulay Culkin. He was waiting for us to leave so that he could break into my house and steal the only thing of any value - my iMac. I was sure of it.  

I continued to the mailbox, got the mail, and climbed  back into the car. In my mind, I was already formulating a plan in case the man in question was not in his truck anymore or, even worse, in my yard. My brilliant plan? Drive away and call my husband. Solid, right? Lest we forget, it's 2017 and the 911 emergency system has been in place for decades. What can I say? I'm a thinker.

As I approached my home, I saw that my mystery man was now retrieving something from the bed of his truck. I pulled up into my driveway and trepidly began to unbuckle my little girl. I took a peek through the van window to the street. He's gone. Where is he? Panic time, where did he go?? I walked a few steps to peek around the car to the street and to my horror I saw him coming towards my garage. What's that in his hand? Is that...a PICK-AXE??? OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! 

I fumbled to re-fasten the buckles on Pepper's car seat much to her chagrin. "Mama! What are you doing??" 

"We just have to go, okay?" 

The pick-axe man disappeared to the side of the garage and I didn't wait to find him. I sped off down the street and initiated my genius plan.

I dialed my husband. 

Dave: "Hello?"

Me: "Dave, I'm FREAKING OUT. There is a man in our yard with a PICK-AXE."

Dave: "Uh...Okay. Does he have a white beard?"

Me: "Yeah, why?"

Dave: "Ash, [laughter] that's Phillipe, the landscaper. [chuckle chuckle] He's super nice. You should go meet him."

Embarrassed, I drove back home. As I got out of the car, Phillipe, now much less scary, came up to me and shook my hand. What a cute little hispanic man! Also, I need to get an appointment with my eye doctor. This is his very scary pick-axe, AKA "weeding tool".
(In my defense, you could really cause some damage with that thing. I should know, I watch Forensic Files.)

So, my husband hired a landscaper.

That was hard for me to swallow. I strongly believe in teaching our children great work ethic, and what a better way than putting the boys in charge of the yard work? Family work is a key ingredient in the education and lifestyle we aspire to have.

In the book "Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning", Oliver and Rachel DeMille have a section dedicated to "The Chores". They talk about giving children stewardships and teaching responsibility. Why not use what actually needs to be done?

"Real work is key to training leaders, and it must start at an early age. Chores must be real. That is a challenge in our modern times, but it is a necessary ingredient to Leadership Education. If chores are necessary to the family's well being, responsibilities that really matter, they build skills, character, and leadership."

 In the past, I've always been the one to keep up our yard. I actually quite enjoy mowing, and weeding can be very therapeutic. I taught the boys to mow and edge, but they are still young (10 and 11) and need a bit more supervision and teaching. I haven't had the energy or time to keep up with initiating and supervising the boys while they do it. The yard was looking very sad. Dave suggested we relent and hire it out, but I was resistant for some time. Finally, after weeks of experiencing some debilitating health issues, I relented.

From my journal, March 31, 2017:

"Right now, in this season of life, I need to first, let go and let God. Second, I need to be okay and at peace with whatever I can accomplish. He is waiting for me to rely on Him instead of wondering why I'm struggling and desperately trying to "keep up" with my "norm". I'm grateful for a humble, yet wise husband to offer loving help right when I need it."

I sat down and listed all of the boy's responsibilities. Dishes, garbage, hauling wood, feeding and caring for the chickens, meal clean-up, and general household tidying. I realized that I was holding so tight to something that I thought "should" be on the list that I was missing the point. I decided to let go. This will be a wonderful opportunity for the boys to see an example of what our yard can look like as it is well-maintained on a consistent basis. There will plenty of time in the future to add yard work to their responsibilities, but for now, I'm letting go. Now we can focus on doing the other important work that's before us, getting a superb education, and enjoying a gorgeous, well-maintained yard. In fact, I think I'll go throw a blanket down on the lawn and read to my babies. (After Phillipe gets done mowing it, that is.)