I never wanted to homeschool my kids. No joke.
The thought of it made me want to dry-heave and run away to Mexico, or stick razor blades in my eye. I thought, "I can't get these boys to do their homework, I could never be their teacher. I'd never want to be their teacher." I thought you had to have a teaching degree to teach anything past the 3rd grade. And how do you teach kids in several different grades? Sounded like a whole lotta crazy if you asked me. Gag me with a wooden spoon.
And to be honest, I didn't think I could handle having my kids home 24/7. Summer always felt really crazy, having the boys running all over, making messes inside and out, and by the time school was starting, I was more than ready to have my sanity back.
So how did I get HERE?
In 2015, I was providing our main source of income, running our wedding/family photography business full time as well as taking care of our daughter with special needs. I was also just entering remission from a debilitating kidney disease I had been suffering with. Homeschooling wasn't even in the same universe as I was! The boys were in 2nd and 3rd grade, and the school year was coming to an end. It had been a very rough year, for both boys.
Attention Deficit Disorder
Jared struggled with school since he was a little Kindergartner, and repeated first grade. He'd been taken in for special needs testing at the school and then again at the University level. They were hoping to get an ADHD diagnosis so that they could adapt his education to his distracted and fidgety tendencies. The psychologist couldn't come up with concrete evidence for ADHD, but he said he could get him diagnosed with ADD on paper to help with a 504 plan or possibly an IEP. He offered medication. If it weren't for my skeptical husband, Dave, I'd have gone with it. I trusted the experts. They know best, right?
Ashton started to struggle halfway through 1st grade, the year we moved to California from Utah. He was put in a remedial reading program and began to detest reading and writing. I was SO tired of going to parent-teacher conferences and being told that the boys weren't keeping up enough to pass on to the next grade. They started to discuss special education classes for Jared. It was frustrating, exhausting, and I didn't know what to do for them.
Thank heaven for my husband.
Dave had been through all of this as a child. He was diagnosed ADHD early on and was labeled for the rest of his academic life. The school and the doctor suggested he go on Ritalin. Luckily, his mother was against medicating any of her children, so he just continued to work through it until 7th grade when his parents made the decision to homeschool him for a year. That year meant everything for him and he was able to go back and manage to get his diploma. He had suggested homeschool to me several times but I always immediately dismissed the proposal. How ridiculous.
My school experience
I, on the other hand, loved school. No problems, other than a little bit of a struggle with math. (I'm EXTREMELY right-brained!) However, I was motivated and loved to learn whatever was put in front of me. I loved pleasing adults, and I got good grades. Memorizing came naturally to me. In first grade, my teacher had me help the other children with their reading. So, I couldn't understand when the teachers told me how badly behind my boys were.
Homework
Common core was implemented that year. I couldn't help my kids with their homework anymore. EVERY NIGHT, we'd sit at the table and they would cry and I would try EVERYTHING I could think of to encourage them. I would often think "Just DO your work. It isn't that hard! You are spending more time crying about it and avoiding it than if you'd actually just get it done!"
I implemented a reward system with stickers and a treasure box, which worked for a few weeks until they tired of the prizes. In frustration one night I even wrote on the paper "We aren't doing this. I shouldn't have to GOOGLE my child's homework." Unfortunately, my boy's grades counted on homework getting turned in and done right. They just continued to suffer.
It reached a climax that year.
Jared started falling in with the wrong friends. He was caught stealing from another girl. He came home and dropped the F-bomb. When I asked where he heard it, he said: "Mom, everybody says it."
In the 3rd grade?? (Of course, we do live in California, but still!) It was heartbreaking to see my child naturally identify as an outcast, a rebel, and a trouble-maker. I talked to him about school after one particularly rough day.
He began to sob. "I'm STUPID! I never get ANYTHING! The teacher asks if everyone gets it and if we can move on, so I raise my hand and she just says 'Sorry, we have to move on. Talk to me after class. I'm just STUPID!!'"
Right there and then, it all reached a climax. I felt as if my heart broke in half. My boys deserved better than this and I knew it. These little men, so sweet, innocent, full of potential and inner genius deserved so much better. Before I knew what I was saying, as tears streamed down my cheeks, I took his freckled face into my hands and I said "You are NOT stupid. You are brilliant. Okay? I will be your teacher. I will homeschool you and Ashton from here on out. I don't know how I will do it, but we will figure it out together."
Continued HERE...
Continued HERE...
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