The Christian church we belong to, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, recently did away with a long-standing program of serving and teaching other families and individuals
within our own congregation or “ward”, and introduced a new approach we are calling “Ministering”. This Ministering concept is not new as we all know “Ministering” is what Christ’s short earthly life was dedicated to.
Our church has been systematically removing the hedges and the proverbial training wheels are coming off!
It's time we wean ourselves away from our desperate need for an instruction manual, a curriculum, a schedule. It's time for us to learn to simply LOVE and SERVE, sporadically, without a checklist, without an agenda, and led by the Spirit.
Yesterday the adults in our ward had a special meeting led by our Bishop to discuss this new approach. (Can you believe it, I happen to be an adult and I was in attendance at this meeting!) I had so many thoughts during this one-hour discussion that I wouldn't have been able to articulate them through raising my hand to comment, so I'm writing them here this morning.
There were many wonderful comments on serving, helpful tips, tricks, and different ways of looking at the concept. I was very inspired and spent the drive home in deep contemplation. However, I have another viewpoint I'd like to offer that might help us in our efforts to make this new approach more successful within our wards and communities.
There were many wonderful comments on serving, helpful tips, tricks, and different ways of looking at the concept. I was very inspired and spent the drive home in deep contemplation. However, I have another viewpoint I'd like to offer that might help us in our efforts to make this new approach more successful within our wards and communities.
Recently I spent some time in the fetal position in the hospital for a kidney disease flare up and this MINISTERING concept is very fresh on my mind.
I've known about this condition since pregnant with my first child 13 years ago. My 3 pregnancies were riddled with kidney stones, preterm labor, (and eventual premature babies), IV’s, lonely hospital stays, and lots and lots of vomit. Finally diagnosed in 2014, I've traveled the dark path of debilitating pain, isolation, and at times, complete despair. I've been at
I've known about this condition since pregnant with my first child 13 years ago. My 3 pregnancies were riddled with kidney stones, preterm labor, (and eventual premature babies), IV’s, lonely hospital stays, and lots and lots of vomit. Finally diagnosed in 2014, I've traveled the dark path of debilitating pain, isolation, and at times, complete despair. I've been at
the mercy of the aid of others, from complete strangers to those in my religious community.
I know what it means to be asked “How can I help you?” and not have the strength or the brainpower left to answer the question. Gripped with pain and the stress of it all, I more often than not simply don't know how to be helped.
Those who've been the biggest assistance to me have been the ones who marched in and fill whatever need they see needs filled, regardless of my weak protests of “I'm fine” and “I'll be okay”.
I've helplessly watched elderly women scrub the dried vomit from my toilet, laid by as the busiest of mothers stood in my kitchen and tackled the mounds of food-caked dishes piled all over my kitchen.
I've had my hand held and my hair brushed back by someone I barely knew as I threw up buckets in
an Emergency Room bed at 2:00am. I've been blessed to have had young, busy couples wisk my kids
away to a fun afternoon at a park so that they can forget for a moment that their parents are exhausted and overwhelmed.
I’ve been Ministered to. I've also rejected ministering attempts. I've DESPERATELY needed ministering but didn't know how to accept it when the call came. I've received countless well-meaning and much-appreciated texts with the words “Let me know..” Those words...While written with love and a sincere desire to serve, can feel so final...“I don't know what to do to help you, so the ball is in your court. I did my part, now it's on you.” I very rarely “let them know” because, my friends, I hurt, I'm stressed and overwhelmed, and I don't even know. I have kids at my side, hungry, cooped up, feeling the weight of their Mother being down yet again, and it's all too much. I feel guilty taking people from their busy lives and their own troubles, stresses, and pain. Must be strong. Must get through.
I guess what I've learned from all of this is that we need to be BOLD and learn how to SHOW UP and get IT done!! “See a need, fill a need!”. Don't wait for others to tell you how you can help, get down on your knees and ask He who already knows their needs in every way. Get in there! Don't wait!
My husband DRIVES ME CRAZY because he has this super annoying way of pushing past people’s excuses and “I'm okay” facades and hitting the nail right on the head! He gets in there and loves the heck out of them before they even know what hit them. I want that! I know it can be developed, but we have to be BOLD And unafraid. Not easy, but simple.
We also have this antiquated idea that to need help and ask for it means that we are weak and
worthless and that it's okay for us to serve, serve, serve. But heaven forbid we EVER let another
person into our personal lives and lift our burdens! So, I guess what I'd really like to say is
DON'T BE A BUTTHEAD!!
Let people love you! Don't block the process and create unnecessary difficulty for those attempting to love and serve you. Welcome their efforts!
Just as you benefit from the care and concern you offer others, don't close the valuable connection
to receiving and make it harder for others to do what they have been commissioned to do by Jesus
Christ Himself! (I'm qualified to say this because I am resident expert at Buttheadedness!) Get out of their way and let them in! Let us love and serve and let us BE loved and served. Even Christ Himself allowed his feet to be washed.
We are His hands, and right now It's "All Hands On Deck"! Now go to, love and serve, and BE loved and served!
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